When my life turn to better. I am still me. broken inside and I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it. Because I am. My effort to seek help seems fruitless. I am what I am. My heart are not settled. I became my own worse enemy. I defy myself. I defy my freedom. Just by acting like a child makes me happy. Cuz then, I wouldn't have to bear responsibility. I don't know if anyone knows it but it also hurt me to see me being a failure. I am doing mediocre in everything I did. Tried to change but seems useless. I can't change the fate thats already written for me. That I will carry all these weaknesses and just able to look at others who did everything w/o any difficulties at all. Don't I have any talent at all? Why am I not a genius that have the ability to learn fast. Why practically I fail? So many question. i know it is bad to ask those question but I am a human being too with lots of wondering and I can say that I am lost.
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