Afraid of losing

What if I lose anymore friends> I had few to and to lose another one I can't afford. Huhu... Please god, let me be a good friend and let me have friends. I know, meeting someone and then losing them is part of life. But I can't handle it the way other people handle it. I may look okay on the outside, but on the inside, my heart. It just filled with 1000 liter of tears, and maybe more. But then again, why do I want to keep them? Because I already felt attached to them since only few able to make me open up even not wholly. I know I am not the best person in your life and I know, in your prayer, you probably ask for circles of friends which you could trust and be proud of and  worthy. So, maybe I am not worthy.(God!! just thought of it) So maybe I shouldn't force our friendship anymore and just watch what happen as time flew by. But I do want you to know, No matter what happen next, If we are not together again. You are part of my life once and during that time I truly am loving you in every way I can as a friend.