Not a good start

Not a good start.. I am still the dumbess person. Why can't I communicate with people?? Why am I being punish with such characteristic.? I don't understand why other people had it easy whereas me? I have to go through hell and still didn't get the result that I wanted. Sometimes, It makes me feel like I should jut quit or maybe kill myself. Then everything will be perfect. Nobody like me anyway. I am tired pretending to be someone I am not. And by being someone I am, I am being criticize and hated also.

The question of suicide had been in my mind for quite some time now. O-God, please release me from this burden in my chest. I really really am getting tired of living like this. I cry every time people turn around from me.

I am weak and I agree with that. I am befriend with someone ruthless. I hate it. I hate it soo much that sometime I just wanted that person to just go away already. Hm........................................................................................

Wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow. I hate it. I hate that place with some of the people who scares me to death. I can't pray for their wellness if they are being so immature by treating me differently. Thanks a lot for making every single step in my life terrible for me. Kill me already.